monkeyslap

INT.OWEN'S APARTMENT-LIVING ROOM-DAY OWEN lies on the sofa asleep, snoring, TV still on. Its the NEWS. The room is littered with empty coke cans, take-away packaging and beer bottles. An overflowing ashtray sits on the coffee table next to a pile of video games and a wireless controller. Owen(V.O) This is me. I'm Owen. Look at the state of that. I hated life, or, I sucked at life. Maybe one is the automatic result of the other, whichever way around it starts? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? He rouses and looks at his watch. It shows 7:30. He groans, leans forward and begins to eat the pizza that has been left on the floor. NEWS

I prayed to God today for the first time since I was a child and I stayed at my Grandmas’ house. She made me do it then, and I did it, but simply to be polite. It is rude for a child to tell and adult not to be so damned ridiculous, isn’t it?  I thanked him for my house, my family, and my meals. I asked him to save all of the poor children in the world who were starving. I didn’t mean any of it of course, I was grateful to my Mother and Father for my home and my food, I was grateful to my family for always being there for me, and I knew that all of the starving children in the world were doomed. If any supernatural

Draconion, the Great lizard king of the north, would always wear his favourite red hat on days that were below five degrees.  It was made for him twenty-five years ago by an army of dwarves from Hellfire, and although Draconion would have you believe it was a gift given out of admiration and respect, the dwarves would tell you it was the thing that he demanded to be given in return for not destroying their homes. As Draconion the great lizard king (I say he’s a king, because he says he’s a king. I suppose technically he is, but that’s due to the simple fact that he is the only Great lizard in Northern Fenra, his home